State of numbness.
It's weird. You're calm and peaceful, but at the same time you feel tormented. You feel like you need to break out of the prison your brain is stuck in. You feel weak. You know you're okay, but at the same time you're not.
There are moments full of energy bursts, you get up, do housework, listen to music. Sometimes you will sing. Read. Feel like there's hope outside of the walls you're in.
And there are those moments when you feel completely the opposite. You feel like your brain is asleep. Like your body isn't yours anymore. Like you need someone to pinch or shake you out of the numbness, the grey that your perception has become.
And then you wonder; is it always gonna be like this?
Is it always gonna feel and look so grey?
Am I always gonna be this numb and powerless?
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