Wicked heart.

I'd describe myself as a simple person with a complicated mind. That girl that seems really boring and shy at first, but as soon as she feels comfortable around people, she starts talking and proves the opposite.
Also, she doesn't wear make up everyday. Too lazy for that. However, she may surprise you at a party. You will probably not recognize her at first.
Because, she's like a caterpillar that finally unleashes her butterfly wings and shows the world that she can be whoever she wants.
What about her inner side?
Oh, such the darkest side of her. A wicked heart and a pure soul. A good angel with bad wings. One day she's the nicest person you can meet, the other day you might realize you've met the devil itself. Because she's been hurt, and a wounded heart is never responsible of its actions.
If you hurt her, she hits back.
If you leave her alone, she suffers until she starts hating you and curses you from the bottom of her bruised heart. No mercy.

Dreams (don't) come true.

Based on the events that have happened in my life lately, I'm not sure if dreams come true or not.
Today I woke up crying. Why? Because I had the most beautiful dream and, unfortunately, I woke up to realize that it wasn't true. How I wish it was!
He was there, only two feet away from me, and then came closer to hug me, and tell me that he had missed me. Words that, obviously, he wouldn't have said to me in real life.
How awful is that? How come that people change so drastically that you only come to realize it later, when you need them the most. When they're not there.
This is one of those sweet dreams that will never come true. Apparently, dreams are meant to stay that way: Dreams.

That girl.

She had those eyes and that face through which you could read the truth. You could see how hurt she was, how many tears she'd shed, how lonely she had been lately. But you could also notice how perfectly she hid those feelings, by simply putting on a smile on her face.
How could you not love that girl?

I'm sorry (personal post)

This is a very personal post, so before you read it, make sure you want to waste your time with my issues.
Well, after everything that's happened in my social life outside the internet, I can only say that I've f*cked up. Yes. I've hurt too many people's feelings. I've promised them "a summer full of adventures", "a coffee everyday" but everything I've done was nothing.
I've hurt you. I've hurt her, them, lots of people. 
So everything I can say is that I'M SORRY! I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel unimportant to me. I'm sorry if I've left you alone. I'm sorry if I've made you think that my other friends are more important. The matter is, I'm becoming more mature everyday and I'm slowly realizing that I've put my faith into people who never deserved it. But now things are going to change. And I'll start by telling  everyone how much they mean to me.

I'm sorry!

This River Is Wild.

"Should I just get along with myself
I never did get along with everybody else
I've been trying hard to do what's right
But you know I could stay here all night
And watch the clouds fall from the sky
Because this river is wild..."

Been repeating these verses to myself all night long. Maybe because I can relate to the song. It's been like three months since I got really into The Killers' music, even though I knew them back in 2008.
Anyway, has it ever happened to you looking back into the past and realizing everything you've done? People who've hurt you, and vice-versa? Maybe it was your own fault after all. You couldn't fight your inner demons and they created those awful doubts about yourself and the people around you.
However, in these cases, try to sleep through these moments. Don't let them ruin you.
xx.

Internet life.

Internet is simply ruining my relationship with other people. Instead of talking, they only type, type while I'm just sitting there, waiting for an actual sound coming from their mouth...Nope, no reaction.
I really miss old times, when internet was considered a luxury, when only few people used it.
You could actually talk to people, looking in their eyes, discussing about different things, playing cards, etc.
I completely hate how it is now. What's the worse, we feel like we can't do anything to stop it. We're so depended on the internet, that we feel like we're lacking air if the Wi-Fi disconnects for a second.
It sucks. It seriously does. I miss my old friends.

(Based on a real life experience)

Dear friends, suicide is not a joke.

If you ever hear somebody mentioning it, or talking about suicide, please don't ignore these signs. Try to help them. Talk to a mature person, i.e a parent, teacher or psychologist to get help and advices. 
You could save a life.
(Pass on).

A short note to you.

I've been struggling these last days trying to forget how bad I feel for not being next to you, for not living the adventures I had promised myself we would. You know what? It kills me, because I'm being fucking selfish for acting or even thinking this way.
You are finally living your dreams, I always knew you would since you have an enormous potential to even change the whole world if you want to, while I'm just sitting here, trying to figure out how happy I'd be if I was at least a tiny part of your life.
You are and will always be my best friend. I just want you to call me someday and ask me how I have been doing. I miss you.
Please, think of me.

Maybe I care too much.

Much more than needed, much more than the other person does.
But I was made to be like this, to care too much, to give too much love, and not getting anything back.
It's killing me inside, I'm empty, but I'm used to this sh*t.
So, yeah, go ahead, keep killing me, hurting me, destroying what's left from me.
Just remember that someday it will get back to you, in a harder way.
It's called #Karma.

What are we?

Are we real? Or are we just an illusion?
What about life? Is it real, or is it just a nightmare from where we can't wake up?
I need an explanation. I need to know whether this whole nightmare is ever going to end or not. Because I can't keep up with it. I'm tired. I'm consumed.

Save Me.

Sometimes, I hate staying awake at midnight. Maybe because it's the time when my inner demons wake up and murder the bright side of my soul.
And that's how I get depressive and start hating everything. Everyone.
Including myself.
Suicidal thoughts haunt me endlessly .
I'm just stuck in this dark hole, and I need you to get me out of it. Help me!